insomniacs anonymous
I have insomnia.
Fierce, vicious insomnia.
I've had it on and off for years since high school (so, about 25 years) and, for the most part, I've learned to live with it. During the school year, I make the most of it and typically get a LOT of studying done between the hours of midnight and 4am. Sometimes people think I'm crazy. Which is fine, I guess, but the insomnia has become so normalized for me by now.
Sometimes I am completely incapable of making sleep happen until 6 or 7 am.
When I embark upon a group project at school, I have made it a habit of letting my groupmates know that they ought not be alarmed if they receive email from me at three in the morning or so. I learned the hard way that that sort of thing tends to freak some people out a little.
Here is a list of things I have tried in an attempt to rid myself of said insomnia (either permanently or temporarily - ya gotta take what you can get):
- warm bath
- hot tea, milk, and other warm beverages (without alcohol)
- alcohol (in varying quantities and temperatures)
- Chammomile
- Lavender
- Melatonin
- Valerian
- St. John's Wort
- reading
- thinking about something peaceful
- thinking about something boring
- several over-the-counter sleep aids, none of which worked
- Trazedone (kinda works, but takes too long to kick in)
- Ellavil (did not work AT ALL)
one other lame Rx that did nothingRestoril- Sonata (worked well most of the time)
- Valium (kinda worked)
- Ambien (got me to sleep, just didn't keep me there)
- Morphine (this worked!)
So, you see the problem. And even though I go to my doc and say that I wanna try this Lunestra stuff that I see advertised in my New Yorker or that I did okay with Sonata, or alternating Sonata and Ambien, they tell me no and write me a prescription for Trazedone. When I first picked this prescription up from the pharmacy, the pharmacist told me that I should be really careful if I get up in the middle of the night because this drug will make me so drowsy that it'll be dangerous for me to be at large! In my own home even!!!
This was so exciting for me to hear, I cannot even begin to describe. Hooray! Finally a drug that will conk me out completely so that I can have a peaceful night's sleep like the normal people do! I simply could not wait for evening to fall so that I could battle my insomnia - kapow, right in the kisser!
The kind pharmacist even suggested that I cut the pill in half and begin with a mere half dosage! It's that powerful, he tells me! I consider the possibilities. I so cannot wait to try this and I'm gonna take a whole one because I have a high tolerance and I hate cutting pills in half - they never divide perfectly evenly and this drives me crazy. I do not tell the pharmacist any of this, though. It is my own little secret.
I was nearly giddy with joy when I popped my first Trazedone at around 11pm. I crawled into bed and found a somewhat comfortable position while I waited for the magic drug to whisk me away into a wondrous sleep.
And I waited.
And I waited.
And I waited.
Some grueling two hours later, sleep finally remembered me and claimed me as one of her own. I did not feel like crap the next day and for that I am grateful. In two and a half weeks, I see my new doctor. Perhaps she will agree with me that perhaps a different, better, more effective sleeping pill is in my best interest.
I don't understand why they won't just give me Morphine to take for insomnia. The motherfucker works. And how.
8 comments:
Right up my alley, since it's 2:15 AM, and I'm up reading blogs :)
hey baby - you forgot to me mention your use of masturbation and heating pads to lull you to sleep.
I am feeling your pain and frustration. I am currently up at 5:30am (having no luck in getting any sleep tonight) I LOVE your comment about morphine! Let's just get an Rx for that and we would be all set. I have been through all the same drugs and experiences with finding a way to sleep as you. Although I was able to take Restiril for one sleep filled night until it quit working:(stflure
the curious ending of my last post: stflure was the word verification for me to post. No sure how it made it inside my post:)
hi peeps, ive been an insomniac for years now, I used to hate it but now I quite enjoy it! why? its nice and peaceful at night, while the city sleeps I feel alive!
My insomniacism has gone from strengh to strengh over the years.
Nowadays I sleep 4 days out of seven in a week.And when I do get to sleep its at 5 or 6am.It cant be a healthy habit but its purely uncontrolable.
Ive tried every drug that the doctor can possibly prescibe and nothing has worked.
Reading keeps me awake
So do hot drinks
Like the band The Verve said "The drugs dont Work, they just make you worse"
Here in UK there is limited medication for insomniacs. the very few meds they can prescribe are really lame.some you can only take for a set time of a couple of weeks.
so whats the cure?
Ive got an alternative cure for some people.
Maybe you sleep 6,7,8, hours a night, for arguments sake lets say you get 8 hours sleep.
heres the what you do:
if you need to get up for work at 8am you spend from 12 till 8am in your bedroom only, no reading too!
if you get 2 hours sleep or you get no sleep at all you still get up at 8am,even on your days off. you might have a few sleepless nights, but its all about training your body clock, and especially training your body to sleep and relax in your bedroom only. Eventually you will fall asleep at 12 and it will be dam good sleep to. you will train your body clock. an important thing you need to remember is "dont catch up on sleep" .
always stick to the rule of going to bed at a set time and getting up at a set time and only use your bedroom for sleeping in. It is a very simple technique used by sleep therapists and works for most people with insomnia.
For those few who it doesnt work for, well, dont get wound up about not being able to get to sleep, enjoy life, use your time constructively, were only here once
I have been an insomniac for years, but it particularly hit me hardest after several bouts with bone cancer that led eventually to a high level amputation called a HemiPlevectomy. Now things are worse than ever. I tried Ambien and it made me get up in the middle of the night and do crazy things (like cook none-sensical meals that I never remembered making until the next morning when I'd see the mess in my kitchen. This was before Ambien "presented" these side effects (and the news reports started coming out about the nutty things people were doing on this med. Then I was moved to Lunesta. It worked at first, but after a short while, I was up in the middle of the night washing my hair (with no memory of it until the next morning when my hair was wet and my bathroom flooded. I am now on a low dose of Elevil and Klonopin. It usually works, but I am afraid these are now wearing out their wear. I meditate, exercise regularly, take vitamins, low alcohol & caffeine intake... but here I am again - up nearly 3 a.m. It's ruined my life and its hard to get it back on track with this brick wall I hit every night.
I have struggled with insomnia since I was a toddler. It's nice to know that there are some others out there. I usually can get myself on a good schedule of sleeping moderately-well at best, but theres usually one night per way where i have some trouble falling asleep. But every now and then , I'll go through a few weeks of some pretty bad insomnia.
I dont think anything is worse than one I have been going through lately though. I've had multiple all-nighters in the last few weeks, 2 all-nighters being back to back and I was hallucinating afterward.
I think a big problem lately is I've had exams I've been studying for and no set schedule of having to wake up for anything bc I am on a break from work nad school. I stay in my room 24/7 studying so I think my room has produced an atmosphere of anxiety for me. I've decided to stay out of my room as often as i can so that I only go in for sleep or doing something relaxing. Other than all nighters, I have slept for the day at most 5 hrs (on good days).
I'm currently numb to sleeping pills (although If i dont take them for a few weeks, thy'll likely work for me again...) so I called my doc for an appt, hoping she'll prescribe me with Ambien & put me out of my misery. I would kill for just one good night of sleep, or to even a few hours of sleep during hte ACTUAL NGIHT TIME.
I did notice that being on a time clock helps a LOT. I worked 8-4 last year and went to bed consistently around the same time, and I think my amount of sleeping problems was less than any other year. Now that I am in school again with a mixed up crazy late night studying schedule it's been back to its usual horridness.
Im always moody and tired and it sucks that normal people dont understand.
Living in Colorado, we have open access to some specific recreational drugs that get the whole "can't turn off" thing to go away in a much more natural way. Indica edibles were my go to until one morning I had to be up earlier than normal for a Saturday morning sales meeting (you know, the type that could have just been an email) so while already worried I might not wake up in time, I took a 20 mg, waiting 30 minutes for it to start kicking in, and zonked out. I woke up on time enough to shower (rare) and got to the meeting early with my trusty Starschmucks iced billion shot delishiousness and sat front row feeling super accomplished. Half hour into my boss's pointless tale about someone no one cared about, I got what I could only describe as a "ghost high". The edible from the night before must not have been fully digested and suddenly kicked in, again. Let me just say it scared the shit out of me and I've been afraid to go back to old faithful since then. Back to the drawing board, ugh.
Post a Comment