Planes sometimes crash

I just recently learned that someone I know has been diagnosed with some form of Leukemia. It's sad, to be sure, particularly considering how young Avion is. However, I've never really liked her all that much. She's rather unkind to her on-again/off-again girlfriend and speaks to her condescendingly. One time she broke up with her, stating to Whitney that she wanted, instead, to be with someone who is her intellectual equal. Ouch. I honestly don't know why Whitney puts up with it and told her just as much. We were becoming pretty close friends until Avion told Whitney to stop hanging out with me and, sadly, Whitney complied.

And, since that time, Avion's been nothing but haughty and arrogant toward me as well. Her air of superiority has been an enormous turnoff and I've avoided opportunities to share in her company even though we know some of the same people and run in similar circles. Seems that most people I know who know Avion don't really care for her much and some even seem afraid of her in a way. But now that she's sick, people who know her and know of her mostly only show concern for her. I have to wonder whether it's Avion they're really concerned about or if it's more of a reflection on how they feel about Whitney, who is very well liked. People won't really talk about it and are more so talking around it. Why are they afraid?

But I understand the reluctance to speak frankly about Avion as a person, as the person we have known her to be, as it feels so cruel to dislike someone who is dying more rapidly than they should be. So do I now just forget about her cruelty and how she has hurt my friend? Do I toss aside her rudeness and arrogance? Does severe illness erase those things? Does she get a clean slate because she's sick?

As much as the thriving Buddhist wannabe in me wants to forgive Avion and have compassion for her because I feel like it's what I'm supposed to do - because it's the right thing to do, if I'm being completely honest with myself - and I am, I'm just not there. I have pity for Avion, as I'm sure that her failing health has been humbling and challenging to her, but I still just don't trust her.

And maybe that says more about me than it does about her.

Ode to Opus

Sadly, I lost another canine friend today (see also this post). Opus was an awesome and happy beagle with the softest ears in the history of the universe. I liked that he didn't piss my cats off and that he didn't realize that he wasn't a very big dog. His clear bent for adventure was evident in his many escapes from the backyard on 34th Street and the many friends he'd accumulated throughout the neighborhood. Everyone knew Opus. I'm still embarassed that I'd presumed that Beth had named him Opus because she enjoyed classical music, rather than as an homage to Bloom County. On the few occasions when I was temporarily in charge of walking Opus, we had wonderful conversations in which we discussed the nuances of the various aromas we encountered along the way. Okay, I admit it, I couldn't actually smell a damn thing, but it seemed really important to him to compare and contrast the various aromas from one yard to the next, one block to the next, one tree to the next, so I just went along with it. Opus, I apologize for faking it.

I hope you will forgive me. I shall overnight you an assortment of the finest biscuits to doggie afterlife immediately.