Desert Island food

just in case

1. Unagi
2. Barely seared Ahi
3. Haagen Dazs Dulce de Leche
4. Mangos (already cut up for me)
5. Panang Curry
6. Rare Filet Mignon
7. Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies
8. Artichokes (steamed, with drawn butter)
9. Tarte Tatin
10. Fresh raspberries

I just gotta know...who was Steve?

So I'm driving in weird funky (and not in the hipster way) deep SE Portland, where there are predominantly convenience stores, pawn shops, strip clubs (but none of the swanky ones), dive bars, gun shops and drive-thru cigarette stores. You heard me.

As I cruise down SE Foster Rd. I notice a taxidermist establishment on my left. Underneath the Taxidermy sign is a marquee, which reads:

Goodbye Steve
We'll Miss You

Please let Steve not be a former animal of some sort.

not an alter ego, mind you

Hey peeps!

I doth have me a doppelganger!!!

And she is a former Portlander!

I still don't know how she found me, though. My guess is that she did a search for 'bad kitty' to see what folks were saying about her/her cool art and then my shit popped up and she was all, "hey, wait a minute, that's MY name." Luckily, she didn't go all cease and desist on my ass and want to armwrestle me for the name or anything. Nah, she's a friendly bad kitty, so it's all good.

The New York Times thinks I'm a nutcase.

In the New York Times crossword puzzle of Monday, October 23, 2006, the clue for 5 down reads "Nutcase." Turns out the correct 6-letter response is: "maniac."

This is a problem.

Poof!

Breaking News!!!

Disappearing blogger found buried up to shoulders in articles detailing the minutae of indexing and abstracting, after barely emerging alive from the planning of Mother's 60th Birthday Surprise Party...cites 60-hour workweeks, holidays, lack of Internet access and family drama

PORTLAND - Alive, but somewhat disoriented, relatively unknown blogger, Bad Kitty, emerged this week from an avalanche of homework, family dysfunction (good and bad, past and present), and internship-rude-awakening to find that she does, indeed, still have a life. Time was wasted watching the somewhat sucky Golden Globes, with the hope that something exciting would happen.

A summary of events and potential topics for the near future include:

* Mother - one of these days she'll get around to that dish
* The anniversary of her first brush with death
* restaurant tales, including the latest updates on Manager-dude
* the internship of enlightenment - now she thinks she know where she DOESN'T want to work
* the continuing saga of the incredibly true and heartbreaking tale of her first Hollywood break-up
* the onset of American Idol, Season 6

and so much more. She thanks readers for being patient and understanding and looks forward to her return to the blogosphere.

Empathic Teen - Not for Sale

So, the other morning, whilst preparing for their days of school and work respectively, my teen daughter, K, says to my lovely wife, J, "did my mom have a rough night last night?"

J looks up, bewildered. "I don't think so. Why?"

K gestures to the small dry-erase board that is held by an uber-strong magnet to our refrigerator and says, "last night when I went to bed, the board was blank and now it has three booze items listed."

J looks at the board, where we all typically will jot down which grocery items we have just consumed the last of, thus simplifying the shopping for whoever eventually takes on this task. In my handwriting is the following list and nothing more:

Grand Marnier
Absolut Peppar
Bushmills

J laughs and tells K that she's pretty sure that I'm simply preparing for the holidays.

I beam with pride when this tale is later retold to me - my daughter knows what Bushmills is! She is so smart!

A New Frock for my Blog!

My blog's been good to me, so I got her a new frock!

I've also sprung for accessories!

Now featuring TAGS!

Who's got links now? I've got links now!

une petite update

By the way, our floors look fanfuckingtastic! Hooray for Pergo! The bad kitties have been forgiven, although we will be garnishing their allowances until the beauteous new floors are paid off.

Out of Office Reply

I am out of the blogosphere until Monday, June 26, 2006 next week. If you have urgent matters that must be tended to, please email somebody and hopefully they will give a crap enough to email you back. Nobody will be blogging in my absence.

Thanks! Have a great weekend!

Listmaker, Listmaker, Make Me a List...

My supah-cool friend and schoolmate, Heather (not to be confused with my sister, Heather), turned me on to the website/blog 5ives and I'm having much fun devouring the archives, starting at the very beginning, of course! So far, this is my favorite list of 5ives. You know it's good when you LOL for reals.

Thus, in the spirit of listmaking and as an homage to 5ives, I present for you...Five Lists of Five Things:

Five Creepy People I Have Known

1. My Dad's best friend from pharmacy school
2. The football player from high school with the silver front tooth
3. The Special-Ed teacher at my daughter's school
4. My former boss' bookie
5. My neighbor, Arnie

Five Films I Loved as a Teen

1. The Hunger
2. Harold and Maude
3. Rear Window
4. Valley Girl
5. Breakfast at Tiffany's

Five Stupid Things That Annoy Me More Than They Should

1. When people write 12 p.m. to indicate midnight
2. Misplaced and missing commas & apostrophes
   
3. When police cars turn on their lights just so they can go through a red light and then turn them off once they are through the intersection
4. When the telephone rings before 8 a.m.
5. Prepositions at the end of sentences (i.e. "Where are you at?" Answer: "I'm at the preposition Lost & Found")

Five Delicious Snacks

1. Dried mango
2. Chocolate-chip cookies fresh from the oven
3. Tuna carpaccio
4. Strawberries dipped in sour cream, then dipped in brown sugar
5. Popcorn topped with Penzey's Brady Street Cheese Sprinkle

Five Charming People I've Met

1. Alfonso Cuaron
2. Nancy Pearl
3. David Sedaris
4. Joaquin Phoenix
5. Suzan-Lori Parks

file under "kids say the darndest things"

My 14 year-old daughter says to me yesterday, "You know what's cool about butts?"

"Lots of things?" I say after overpondering.

"Well, true, but the coolest thing about butts is that it's the sexy part on the body that everyone has."

"True, although I'm not sure that all butts qualify as sexy."

"I guess not," she concedes, "but at least they have the potential to be."

Gawd I love this kid.

Hee. Hee.

I got carded at dinner tonight!!

Silly waitress. She looked at my driver's license for a LONG time, too. Was she high? I mean, I know that I don't look my age, but I certainly don't look like I'm under 21, for Pete's sake! 31 maybe, but not 21...

A friend of mine whose name I ought not mention says that I should join the "Minus Ten Club" in which all participants lie about their age, subtracting ten years from the real number. Eh, sure, why the hell not?

Yay for 30!

I was just thinking that the world is my oyster and you are my chauffeur

For sale: one teen

Brainy, but spacey; will occasionally do chores if asked; remarkable eye-rolling skillz; can go from exuberant to mad/sad/bad in less than two seconds; likes animals (but none of the responsibilities that come along with having one); will consider all offers on some days.

Yay me!

You are Louis Althusser! You tried to bring
together structuralism, Marxism, and Lacanian
psychoanalysis. Your brilliant analysis of
ideology and the state is still widely
influential. You murdered your wife, were put
in a sanitarium, and lived the last decade of
your life alone before dying in 1990.


What 20th Century Theorist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Can I just say...

that the word FAMILIAR has only one 'R' in it? And it's at the end.

expecting and predicting

Currently, I know four women who are pregnant. So, I thought it would be fun to log my predictions for the anticipated gender of each child-to-be. Then I figured, while I'm at it, I shall take a stab at the due dates as well (although I must confess that my track record on due dates is not nearly so good as my track record with gender)(Recent correct predictions on gender: Angie (3 times), Sarah, Lisa, Lori). Will my excellent streak continue? Or will I be wrong every time. Stay tuned as I will update as I obtain confirmation of any of my predictions:

Susan will have a GIRL and will deliver on SEPT. 7, 2005
Lisa will have a BOY and will deliver on SEPT. 4, 2005
Dana will have a BOY and will deliver on OCT. 26, 2005
Liz will have a BOY and will deliver on NOV. 11, 2005

While I'm at it, I also predict that Anna will become pregnant within the next year.

I raise my glass to Dorothy Parker...

Just read this quote, attributed to the witty, and often scathing, Dorothy Parker:

"Heterosexuality is not normal. It's just common."

Clink!

Once in Awhile I Take a Shortcut...

Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band
Created by naw5689 and taken 22159 times on bzoink!
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:	David Bowie
Are you male or female:	Lady Stardust
Describe yourself:	Under Pressure
How do some people feel about you:	Rebel Rebel
How do you feel about yourself:	Never Let Me Down
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:	Queen Bitch
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:	Loving the Alien
Describe where you want to be:	A New Career in a New Town
Describe what you want to be:	Future Legend
Describe how you live:	Reality
Describe how you love:	Modern Love
Share a few words of wisdom	I'm Afraid of Americans
Create a Survey Search Surveys Go to bzoink!