is it bad to care only a little?

The last time I spoke to my grandma, she hung up on me. This was about three or so weeks ago when I was asking her to please stop attempting to convince my vegetarian daughter to eat meat and she denied ever having done so. It is likely that I will call her, possibly tonight when she is out to dinner with other family members (although I was not invited to that soiree...). This way I can leave her well wishes without having to speak to her. It's not that I'm holding a grudge. Really, I'm not. It's just that I refuse to do this anymore. They (mom, grandma, Angie) will say something hurtful to K and K will tell me. I will, in turn, explain to them that they have hurt K's feelings and that -intentional or no, it STILL hurts her feelings- I would like them to stop. They deny ever having done anything in the first place. I do not like this dance.

I still resent that my grandmother tricked me into believing that she was a kind and tolerant person. I think that she may be under the impression that I still believe this, yet whenever she fears that it is waning, she will spend just a little extra money on me to attempt to distract me. There was a time when that actually worked. I hate the evil things she says about her own daughter's husband's child and also about my sister's kids...who knows what she says about me behind my back? Well, actually, some of it has found it's way back to me: that she thinks I will "outgrow" being a dyke since it is just a phase I'm going through. Gee, grandma, what do you *really* think?